No mercy! When kids critique contemporary art
4 min read
At The Artists’ Fair, recently held at Somerset House Studios, five brave artists put their work forward to be critiqued by children. The verdicts are in. Here are our favourites:
Jenkin Van Zyl, Six Scintillating Sinners (In Vitro) – Number 97, 2021 (reviewed by Florence, age 8)
If you’ve spent more than five minutes around children, you’ll know two things: they’re brutally honest, and they can smell fear. Which is exactly what made Spaghetti Club, part of The Artists’ Fair at Somerset House Studios — such a high-stakes affair. During the workshop, five valiant artists offered up their work to be judged by a panel of baby tastemakers (aged 5–9). No pretentious art-speak. No mercy. Just pure, unfiltered opinion. Who said art criticism was dead?
Jasleen Kaur, Aunties, 2024
“Rain shouldn’t smell nice in the future, it needs to stay the way it is.”
– Ivy, 6
“If your brain is a type of cloud then when you drink water it floats inside your head better.”
– Robyn, 6
“There should be a guard inside your nose to stop bad smells and ideas from going in and making a mess in your brain.”
– Muhammad, 6
Leila Dear, Rhombi, 2025
“I think it’s a kind of game. It can fold in to make a cube so maybe it needs to unfold out for a week to show its secret.”
– Jesse, 7
“It looks like a toy from Ancient Egypt with shapes to stop it being too serious.”
– Robyn, 6
“It’s a trap to catch a naughty computer.”
– Kemi, 5
Jenkin Van Zyl, Six Scintillating Sinners (In Vitro) – Number 97, 202
“If you have a nightmare about this tonight, you can just split your dreams into two and move it across to the dream you aren’t in.”
– Muhammad, 6
“If this was in my class at break time it wouldn’t be able to go into the playground because it can’t move by itself so I would sit and talk to it. Its breath would smell like burnt popcorn.”
– Ivy, 6
“I think it says 97 on it because number 1 would be the most beautiful head ever and this is 97 steps away from that.”
– Florence, 8
“It’s afraid of me.”
– Kemi, 5
Louis Morlæ, Rexx, 2023
“If he stamped his foot on the moon, it would smash it in half. He does this to fall through space into a star. He likes doing that.”
– Jesse, 7
“No robot will ever be better than me at football, I practised this morning.”
– Alfie, 7
“It wouldn’t tidy my house, it’s there just to make a mess.”
– Ezra, 5
Hannah Perry, Femme, Interrupted (Blue), 2025
“I feel like the blue and red dots are about maths and they add up in some way. This is something to do with numbers.”
– Florence, 8
“The red is little dots of cherries and blood. I want two of these in my bedroom.”
– Ivy, 6
“The perfect amount of time to look at any painting is 5 minutes. You never need more than that.”
– Robyn, 6
